Are you going through a divorce during the holiday season? Do you want to keep your children’s best interests at the forefront? With some work from both parent’s, it can be done.
Children of divorcing parents should not have to suffer during the holidays (or any other time for that matter). Below are a few simple tips for you feuding parents out there who want your children’s holiday season to be the best it can be:
- Save any divorce talk with your children until after the holidays. There is no need for them to associate the holidays with your divorce.
- Don’t give your children too many gifts as a way to “make up” for the fact you are divorcing. Down the road, it will come back to haunt you.
- Do talk with your soon to be ex about what gifts each of your are getting the children.
- Never forget that divorce is always a loss, whether it’s a good loss or a bad loss.
- If at all possible, try to spend the holidays together as a family. However, don’t try so hard that you and your spouse end up fighting in front of the children. Also, if your children already know you are divorcing, they may see the 2 of you together as a holiday “present”, only to be let down when they learn the divorce is still proceeding. Best advise, be smart.
- Though divorce around the holidays can be overwhelmingly sad for children, remember, he rest of the year will be just as sad.
- If already living separately, try to start new holiday traditions with your children. Let them have a say in what is to be done, within reason, of course.
- Try, if you can, to forget about your divorce and focus on the time at hand. Then, carry those same feeling into the new-year and keep them in mind when you and your spouse start dissolving your marriage.
- Keep things simple. Period.
- If living apart and your child wants to spend the holiday’s with your soon to be ex, let them. Remember, you want to keep your children’s best interests at the top of your list. There will be many more holidays. You will be sad. However, don’t make your child feel guilty by showing your sadness to them. It will just make them feel worse about the decision they made. They still love you.
Lastly, for you Grandparents out there who may get the short end of the stick this holiday season, here are some holiday tips for you too:
- If your grandchildren must travel to both parent’s homes for the holidays and your child wants to spend it alone with them, don’t worry. This can be your chance to start a new tradition with the grandchildren. Talks to your child about celebrating with the grandchildren after the 1st of the year.
- Remember, the best interests of your children and grandchildren need to be at the top of your list, not yours. Don’t take it personally. There will be many more holidays for you to be invited to.
Support your child during this very emotional time in their lives. Going though a divorce was never on their mind when they got married.