The greatest and most long lasting benefit of Divorce Mediation, when facilitated by us, is the reduction of pain, bitterness, blame, shame, acrimony and quarrelling. We accomplish this by encouraging the parties to tell their stories to us in an atmosphere of unconditional positive regard.
This venting to us of negative emotions allows the client to let go of some of the bitterness toward the spouse. By reminding the client that both parties have contributed to their marital problems we assist the client to be open to an atmosphere of compromise.
The objective of the standard two – lawyer divorce is to win and to prevail in court. In this adversarial system, victories are won at the expense of the other spouse; money victories, child support victories, visitation victories, division of assets victories.
Divorce Mediation is not about winning victories: it is about compromise and finding a fair settlement. Fair is determined by the two spouses negotiating and compromising under the leadership of an experienced divorce mediator.
The bitterness of divorce often leaves permanent scars on the emotional health of not only the husband and wife, but also the children. Studies have shown that 30+% of children of a divorce become emotionally damaged for years or for life.
We coach our clients to avoid this catastrophe. We emphasize the need for not criticizing the ex spouse in front of the child and even further than that, to encourage an atmosphere of love and harmony because the child usually feels that he or she is responsible for the breakup of the family .
We do this with faith based encouragement toward peace and harmony.